“He took off a moment ago his ship was on top of his building.” Koinus explained.
“I thought he might. But not to worry, mine’s faster. We built ours, and his was probably put together at a garage somewhere. I know they aren’t working with our cutting edge gear. We can go into orbit and be there in a couple of hours.”
“Yea but you can’t get there before he does. You need to follow him, so that you can get in the hanger with him- at the same time!”
“No problem, we can wait for him, besides we have a tracer on him. That will give us time to scout it out, and find the mag pole. We’re on top of this.”
“Yea, that may be but we don’t know if he can do the same Yanis.”
“Well our ship’s on top of the building. We’re out of here!” He ended his talk with Koinus, and blurted out, “That was Koinus guys. And that creep just took off, we don’t have time to buy anything, we gotta go. Now!”
“Just go into the gift shop, get the water. I have a few things on board, be quick.”
“Meet you on the roof guys,” Doobiz responded and ran down the stairs to save time.
The elevator came just as Doobiz ran down the stairs, we stepped in and Yanis’ face lit up.
“What’s up Yanis?”
“Man, I just had this idea, what if we had a gas, something we could drop on them assholes. Then we wouldn’t have to zap or stun anybody, right.”
“Yea, actually we do,” I responded.
“Really!” He blurted out, then asked, as his lips twisted into a wry smile, “Where?”
“I believe we have some down there, but we better ask Bullocks. He would know for sure.”
“Then let’s call him,” he responded as he grabbed his cell. The elevator arrived on the top floor and we headed for the stairs to the roof.
While we were going on about the gas, Doobiz was downstairs at the gift shop. He was a little more than anxious as he grabbed a few bottles of iced tea. Water was the last thing we needed, it gave us a buzz. So he bought the energizing tea instead. He was short on time and it made him anxious. So he nervously looked around to see if he should get anything else. As he did so, he attracted the attention of two dumb security, guards who where standing nearby. He decided he didn’t want anything else, paid for his items and ran to the elevators. They decided to follow him, but he got to the elevator first, and the doors closed right in front of them. They ran up the stairs, stopping at each floor to see if he got out. They continued up the stairs after him, all the way up to the top floor. They got there huffing and puffing just as he turned the corner,
“You!” They yelled, but he didn’t hear them and ran for the stairs.
He didn’t and they ran after him. When Doobiz opened the door to the roof, Yanis’ ship was right in front of him with the door open.
“Hurry up Doob, we gotta go!”
He jumped in as the guards opened the door. They appeared just in time to see him inside. Then as the gleaming silver ship rose into the early morning sun, it suddenly vanished.
“Oh shit!” The short one screamed as he pulled out his Gat and started shooting at it. His partner followed suit and they fired a hail of bullets in to the sky.
“Wa wa wa was dat?”
“Oh shit! How’s we gon splain diz, uh” The other responded.
“Oh man, oh man…Oh mama,” the short one cried as his eyes filled with tears.
“D R O P your weapons!”
A police helicopter’s bull horn screamed at them. A moment later a swat team flooded the roof, and one screamed, “Get down on the floor- Now!”
As they put them in handcuffs, the short one whined,
“Da Z, it was a Z a Z! The short one whimpered.
“What’s he talking about,” the detective asked the short one’s partner.
“It was aliens, sir. ALIENS!” He screamed.
“Aliens!” The cop exclaimed.
“Haw haw haw!” The cops cracked up, but the two security guars weren’t laughing.
“Yea, Aliens! It was a shinning silver ship, and it had a big gold Z on its side.”
“Well, where is it?”
“It va va va…
“Vanished!” The other completed his pal’s sentence.
“Vanished, uh…I think you assholes were smoking crack up here, uh.”
“No no it was ALIENS I tells ya!”
“Aliens, uh…okay youse cracked up Trekies let’s go,” and New York’s finest led them away.
“Yanis we’ve been exposed,” I blurted out.
“What was that Doob?” Yanis asked.
“I don’t know I just ran up the stairs and into the ship.”
“Well it looks like two security guards led an army of New York’s finest up after you.”
“We better let Bullocks know about it.”
“Not to worry, I don’t think they saw anything. Those two dummies saw us, but really who is going to believe them.”
“They’re probably going to be the laughing stock of the hotel, and they’ll be making fun of their asses at the precinct too.”
“He hee heee…yea, them poor suckers. But we should tell Bullocks just the same. They’re going to do test on them, and when they find they weren’t on drugs or inebriated they will do some investigating. Maybe even interview our people. So yea, Bullocks should get a heads up.”
“Yea, I guess we should.”
So just to be on the save side, Yanis called Bullocks.
“Yes,” Cho Cha answered.
“This is Yanis let me speak with Bullocks, please.”
“Just a moment,” there was a pause, then, “Yes Yanis.”
“A couple of things sir, I… sir, we were exposed”
“How is that again?”
“Well, my ship was on the roof, two hotel security guards followed Doob up, and saw the ship.”
“What happened then, did you stun them?”
“No, no. We were ascending as they burst unto the scene, and when they saw us they started shooting at us. We were out of their reach, and at that moment we vanished right before their eyes.”
“Haw haw haw…security guards, uh.”
“Look nobody is going to believe those dummies, man. Don’t worry about it.”
“Just the same a swat team showed up, and…
“Did they see you?”
“So don’t worry about it.”
“Sir when they test them and find them drug free, and not inebriated they will investigate, they may even want to interview you.”
“Don’t worry about it. If we need to we’ll strap the investigators into the chair and reprogram them. So what was the second item you wanted to know about?”
“Well, I know that dummy is in the air at the moment, but I was wondering if we have some kind of knock out gas. Something we can drop over them…knock them all out.”
“Hummm…I believe we do, but it would take time to get it to you.”
“Wait a minute!”
“It’s on the moon, and we don’t have the time to get it.”
“I feel your pain.”
“That would have saved us a lot of trouble.”
“Sir!” Con Yo interjected.
“Hold on a moment Yanis”
“I believe there are a few barrels of that gas down there. They’re in big Red 30 gallon drums. Three of them would knock everybody out. There are gas masks too. They’re all down there in the same lab. We had them in case explorers ever found us. But we never got the chance to use them. I believe they’re functional. When they wake up, they’ll be in a state of amnesia that last several hours.”
“Do you know exactly where they are?”
“I’ll have to go over the maps, and get back to you.”
“Then get on it and get back to me as fast as you can.”
“Yanis, good luck, we have some, but…it’s down there.”
“That is good news…do you know where?”
“Con Yo is on it, he’s going to get back to us. He’ll find out where it is and as soon as he does, I’ll get it to you.”
“So should we wait?”
“No, no no, get in the air. Now!”
“We are in the air sir, as we speak.”
“Then when he has the details I’ll get back to you. All I know now is that it’s in one of
the labs. They may not even know it’s there. So all you need do is spread it out. Maybe it
would be best to dump it out over them.”
“We’ll figure it out, sir.”
“Get going already, Jokid has been in the air for twenty minutes already.”
“Talk to you later then,” he responded, ended the call and turned around with a big smile.
“Whats up,” Doobiz asked.
“We may have some knock out gas.”
“That is awesome, man.” I smiled.
“How do we get it, do we have to meet Bullocks somewhere?”
“No, no it’s down there already.”
“Wait, wait a minute, I remember that gas. I went down there a few years ago, before those kooks took it over. We pretty much were there to check the place out. I was told the gas was to be used in case some of the local people, the explorers, ever found us. It was to be used on them.”
“So you know where it is?”
“Oh yea, and I know where the gas masks are too. Get down there with Jokid. We need to enter the hanger at the same time with him.”
Just then a yellow light on his panel started blinking.
“There he is!” Yanis blurted out.
“Where, I can’t see him.”
“He’s just ahead in stealth mode, remember we can’t afford to be seen. But we got him! We’ll be there with him, so let him be comfortable. He’s going back to his daughters wedding real soon…again.”
“He hee hee…haw haw haw,” the three of us cracked up.
We followed Jokid in silence contemplating our next move. Suddenly Doobiz spread his lips in a wide grin. He was zoned into another dimension, when,
“Doob what’s up, man?”
“What, what,” he responded.
“What’s on your mind,” I asked him.
“Yanis what kind of stuff do you have in the back.”
“What are you thinking about?”
“Won’t know till I see what you have back there?”
“Knock yourself out, man.”
After a few moments of rummaging in the back,
“Wow! You have a regular radio shack here, uh.”
So we left him alone to tinker, and continued our watch over Jokid, as his journey progressed south. Almost an hour later Doobiz screamed,
“Mamazaba! Oh yea Mamazaba!”
“What mamazaba what,” we responded in unison.
“I got it guys, I got it!”
“This here baby, man,” he pointed at a gizmo in his hand.
“What doe is it do,” I wanted to know.
“Bro, this baby here is a life saver. All we got to do is connect it to the cables leading up to the mag pole. I won’t have to go up top to find the damned thing. When they send their message it will come to us, right here, and we respond to what ever they want.”
“That is way cool, but…”
“We don’t know what language they’re going to be using,” Yanis responded and continued,
“But hey, I speak Whanker, Putana, and Pigu.”
“Me too, I can speak a few of them…Yea, I’m fluent in Toi Noun, Pendayhoe, and
Dummbatz,” I added.
“Hey guys, I speak Merday, Ketsunoana, and Kara Ho.”
“Damn, haw haw haw…he hee heee,” I craked up.
“What’s so funny Orniz?”
“We don’t need to speak any of those tongues!” I laughed.
“And why not!”
“Duh! Can you say t r an s l a t or,” I responded very slowly with a big smile.
“Ome kaka! Haw haw haw,” Yanis respond.
By that time we were over the frozen no man’s land as we continued to follow Jokid. Yanis descended and silently flew over the white glaze below. We were near the South Pole when the ice opened up and swallowed Jokid. We followed him down, and the ice above closed behind us.
“It’s a mile down guys,” Yanis announced.
When the shaft opened up to the cave below, we couldn’t believe our eyes. The place was humongous. It was almost as wide as it was long, and it was almost as high as it was wide, truly it was longer than three football fields long.
“Can you believe this?” Yanis blurted out.
“I’ve been here before but I really don’t remember it being this gigantic,” Doobiz responded.
“Me too and I’m almost overwhelmed,” I added.
“We’re going to fly over and check things out. See if we can spot those cables, and then land near the labs.” Yanis explained as he flew over the base.
We flew over the cornfield, which was about the size of a small farm. Doobiz tried to count he livestock, but they kept moving, so he gave up on it because it wasn’t important. He noticed the ditch around the corn patch. It was a moat about three feet deep to keep the animals out. It also irrigated the corn patch, as it flowed from the creek running by the side of one wall. Then it ran down
and forked around one side of the patch and around the other side. The two sides met at the shorter end, merged and flowed back into the creek. It then disappeared into the ground at the other end by the shaft. Close to the shaft there was an open clearing with several ships on it. By the side of the field there were three small one story buildings.
“Hey those are the labs down there,” Doobiz pointed.
“Cool, we’ll land behind the one in the middle.
“Hey what if one of the clones walks into it?”
“Don’t worry, when we land, I’ll raise it a few yards. We’ll be okay.”
“Okay then, when we get on the ground, I’ll go find the cables and attached this baby, but first I need to make a few changes here. So let me do that first, then we’ll go do this.”
“Cool, then Yanis and I will go get the gas. They’re only about thirty gallons each, so we should be able to get them on board with out any body being the wiser.”
“Hey guys, what if…”
“We can’t just start spilling gas like that.”
“And why not?”
“Well if those bozos are all inside they’re going to see their clones falling down all over the place.”
“You got a point there Doob!”
“Yea, and don’t forget the animals, they’re going to drop like Zombies in a Rodriguez flick.
“It doesn’t matter as long as they all drop.”
“Yea, you got that right!”
We were silent for a while as Doobiz adjusted the ship’s communicator. Then just as he finished, he had a wide grin on his face, again. He looked at us and,
“I got it guys!”
“Okay, let’s hear it.”
“I’m finished here. By the time you two finish with the gas, I should be finished with this here gizmo on the cable. We’ll wait until they send their message, then we’ll respond and let them think they were successful.”
“Yea, let them celebrate a while. For sure they’re going to be jumping for joy, and doing their little dance.”
“He hee heee…yea, let them do their happy boochie dance.”
“Yea, while they’re doing that we’ll set that corn patch on fire,” Doob exclaimed.
“Are you crazy?”
“No, no no, I follow you Doob. Great idea, man!”
“Yea, I’m going to run some of that cable by the corn patch. They’ll think it was their transmission that caused it.”
“That’s the coolest, man. Oh, yea!
“What are you guys talking about?”
“Think for a moment Yanis, it’ll come to you.”
He smiled, and “Oh yea! When they come out to deal with it the fire, we hit them with the gas. Let’s just hope all of them come out.”
“Don’t worry it takes the gas about ten minutes to take effect. By that time we should be inside the labs, and it won’t matter how many of them are inside. We’ll stun their asses, take their gizmo, and zap it if we can’t take it.”
“I think we’re just going to have to disable it.”
“Yea I believe it’s a huge device,” Doobiz added.
“So no matter what happens or how it goes, we call Bullocks. I’ll figure out how to open up the place for him, and let him deal with them. By the time they wake up, Bullocks will be here to greet them with a big smile.”
“What if any of those ass holes escape,” Doobiz asked.
“Hey, we know who they are. They can run, but they can’t hide, we’ll find them no matter where they go. They can’t go anywhere, and the only wedding that mofo is going to is in his freaking dreams.”
“Well I’m finished here, so…let’s doodiz!”
I reached out with my opened hand, Doobiz put his on top, Yanis followed, and blurted out
“Yea, let’s doodiz!” Then together we exclaimed,
Yanis floated his ship over the middle building and descended a couple of yards behind it. At the same time we turned on our maguns, smiled at one another, vanish and jumped unto the ground. Then Yanis pointed his remote at it, and floated it back up a few yards.
“Nobody’s going to run into it now.” He exclaimed.
Doobiz walked off behind the buildings, he figured the IGT had to be in one of them, and the cables would lead out from it. As he did that Yanis and I walked around the building where we found dozens of clones walking around. Some looked like Doobiz, others like me and Yanis, still others like Bullocks and just about everybody else.
“Damn, this is the most unnerving…” Yanis whispered.
“You can say that again, I expected some to look like us. But it’s like we’re a part of triplets, heck quintuplets. We’re in a freaking nightmare, man.”
“It’s disturbing, man.”
“Hey that’s cool, that means we can get out of the mag, man.” He responded as we reappeared.
“Yea but they’re dressed in those orange coveralls, and we’re in regular clothes.”
“So, let’s find a couple of them, stun em, and peel em.”
“He hee…orange you funny!”
As I said that, we spied a team working by the corn patch. They looked like Conyo and Alky, and Yanis whispered,
“Well, well, well…lookey here Orniz.”
When we got close to them they saw us, one approached Yanis, and asked,
“What can we do for you, sir?”
Yanis smiled at me, and responded.
“We need your help!”
“Do you know where the gas drums are?”
“Sure! You mean the KO gas in the red drums, right.”
“Yes, the very ones.”
“What do you want us to do?”
“We need you to bring them over behind the middle building.”
“How long will it take you to get them over there…half hour an hour?”
“How many do you want?”
“All of them,” I responded.
“Okay and how long will that take you?”
“A half hour,” He responded, and asked, “May we ask why you want them there now?”
“Z thinks we may get raided and wants to be ready.”
“You know he hates to be called Z, right.”
“Screw that ass hole,” I smiled.
“Yea, some of us feel kind of like that too, sometimes…he hee heee.”
“Haw haw haw,” Yanis joined in, and suddenly the four of us were like old pals in a joyous guffaw.
“We’ll get right to it.”
“We may or may not see you later, but please I don’t want to hear Z’s BS over this. If I do then you’ll hear it from us.”
“Not to worry, twenty minutes tops. It’s a piece of cake.”
“Later then,” I waved as we headed back to the middle building.
“Wow piece of cake indeed, he hee heee, we won’t have to look for the freaking drums.”
“Better yet, we won’t have to be lifting them either. Yea, and come to think of it, those freaking drums are heavy, man.”
“Yea, they’re about two hundred pounds each.”
“Cool, so now we can concentrate on finding that damned IGT.”
When we entered the building Yanis whispered, “We better vanish we don’t know what we’ll find here.”
I pointed up to the stairs, smiled and together we vanished. On the second floor we found Merdays, and Pigus with Jokid, Zoutious, Nookodubididy and others. They were all running around like chickens with their heads cut off. They were screaming and laughing and running from one room to another. We walked among them and realized they were preparing to make their decision on where to send their message.
“The storm has reached us gentlemen, and in a couple of hours it will be in full force. Then we’ll need to make our transmission,” Nookodubidity announced.
“It’s about time!”
“People we are going H O M E,” someone yelled.
They were celebrating, their time had come and they were relieved to be at last going back home.
“Good for them,” Yanis whispered as he tapped my back. Then we went back down the stairs. We continued to the basement and walked around from one room to the other. But all we found was abandoned equipment stored in boxes and crates. Then as we were about to abandon the building, we heard a humming noise. When we opened the door, we found several people walking around a huge stainless cube. It took up half the room, it had many dials, and all kinds of colored LED lights blinking. There were all kinds of wires leading to several different consoles in the middle of the room. There was also a large cable running up a wall and into a hole that obviously went outside.
“Amazab, Orniz,” Yanis whispered, and continued, “Let’s go.”
“Yea that’s it alright,” he responded, and together we left the room.
“We need to meet up with Doob, let’s hope he did what he had to do. These bozos are going to use their IGT in a few hours.”
“We need to be back in our ship before they do.”
“He hee hee?”
“What’s so funny?”
“We know and they don’t know we know.”
When we reached the back of the building the two clones were there waiting for us.
“So do you want us to leave them here?”
“Oh no,” Yanis exclaimed as he pointed his remote at the ship, made it appear and land. Then he continued, “You need to put it in Z’s ship.
“Then we’re finished,” I added.
“Boy, he must really believe we’re getting raided.
“Yea, he wants to be ready.”
“That egomaniac,” one of them exclaimed.
“Why do you say that,” I asked.
“Well look at him, nobody’s ever going to see his stupid, ship…and he has his initial on it.”
“Yea he’s an asshole isn’t he?” Yanis smiled.
“Haw haw haw!” We responded.
Again the four of us chortled with loud guffaws as they loaded the gas on the ship. Then when they were finished,
“Gentlemen, we thank you,” I extended my hand.
First one then the other shook my hand, and added, “Any time, sir,” and they left. Once
the clones were out of sight, we climbed aboard, went into stealth and waited for Doobiz.
When he landed Zoutious was there to greet him.
“Took you long enough,” he blurted out.
“The damndest thing happened, the transporter didn’t work. I haven’t used it in a while, but I checked everything over several times, and it still didn’t work. All the dials worked and the lights were blinking but nothing happened.”
“The hell with it, we’ll check it out another time. At least you’re here. Nook’s very anxious and wants to get this show on the road. Everybody else is here too, and you’re the last piece to this project.”
As they walked to the labs they argued about why he should be checking his equipment every once in a while. They argued back and forth to the front of the building, and up the stairs where Nookodubididy was waiting for them. The minute they greeted each other Yanis turned on his VDM, a video monitor recording device, and we were able to see and hear everything.
“Finally, uh,” Nookodubididy greeted Jokid.
“Hey I’m here.”
“Yea, we need to make a decision on where to send our message.” He explained as they
followed him into one of the rooms. There waiting around to get things started were a few dozen people from Pigu, Merday, Ton Cul, Toi Noun, Essay, Kara Ho, and Wanker.
“Alright! Finally…hurray! Whoopie doo!”
Bogus cheers filled the room, so Jokid bowed regally, and smiled at every one as he waved his arms up in the air. Then responded,
“Thank you, thank you my peeps,” with a big dumb smiled.
There was a simple basket sitting on a table in the middle of the room. Nookodubididy, and Zoutious stood behind it and addressed the crowd.
“Guys, there’s no scientific way to resolved this, so we’re going to copy the creatures here. We want you to write your name or world on a piece of paper and put it in this basket. Then we’re going to shake it, and pick one out. It will be the destination of our message.”
“Oh yea, and who is going to do the picking…You?”
They became agitated and started arguing with one another about who should do the picking. They truly didn’t trust each other. All through out the project, building the IGT, and setting up the mag pole, they were an organized team, working like a well oiled machine. But now at the most important moment, they became like the people at the tower of Babble. Suddenly Zoutious grabbed a piece of chalk and drew a large circle in the middle of the floor. Everybody stood back and watched him work. What the hell did he have in mind they wondered? When he finished the large circle, he drew a smaller one inside it, and then another and still another.
“Damn, Z, that looks like a freaking target.”
“First, don’t call Z! I don’t like it. Second, you’re a freaking genius…it is a freaking target.”
“So what’s it for?”
“Look obviously we don’t trust each other on this right!”
“Yes indee dee!”
“Ya got that right!”
“Well how about this. Instead of putting all of our choices in the basket, why not we throw them into the target? Who ever gets closest to it or hits it dead center wins!”
“Damn Z, that’s outrageous!” Bond responded.
“Yea but there’s no way to cheat, is there?” Ton Cul smiled.
“Okay you got that part right, but who goes first and where do we stand,” Dan Che asked.
“Really pal, does it matter who goes first, and as for where to stand,” he smiled as he walked to the door. He stopped at the threshold, turned around, faced them and continued, “How about from right here, uh? You just flip it, roll it, throw it, sling it, shoot it…do what ever you want.”
They were silent for a while as they nodded their heads and calmly discussed it. Some smiled as they agreed, and others shook hands, then they were silent again. Then Dan Che looked around, smiled, and said,
“Z it looks like we agree to your brilliant strategy.” Then he continued, “Z’s the man, lets go with it.”
“Yea, yea, yea!”
“Zee‘s the man, let’s do it!”
“Right on Z!”
He was so angry he was sure steam was coming out of his ears. He hated to be called Z, but they not only agreed with his scheme, they were calling it brilliant. So he just stood there, smiled, and as he opened his outstretched hands, asked “So who goes first?”
“How about you go first,” Dan Che joyfully suggested.
“Yea let him go first,” someone else agreed.
They all started to scream, “Zee, Zee, Zee’s the man, let him go first!”
As angry as he was, he couldn’t help himself, and smiled. They were honoring him, so he went to the table and ripped off a sheet of paper from a spiral notebook. He scribbled a large Z on it with a big black magic marker. Then he took it and crumbled it up into a small ball as he walked to the door. He turned around, and stood there at the threshold for a moment. Then imagining himself to be Mikie Jordan, he smiled, and jumped up on his left foot. He imitated Jordan’s hook shot to the basket. Everybody was quiet, you could hear the proverbial pin drop, if it were to drop. Their eyes were glued to the little ball of paper as it slowly floated through the air. It landed inside just beyond the larger circle, and rolled to just outside of the dead center circle. It rocked and rolled, back and forth for an interminably long second. Then it settled there like a golf ball, but just inside the edge of the circle. Damn that’s going to be hard to beat, he proudly thought to himself.
“Wow! Way cool shot Z.” Dan Che blurted out.
“Lucky, lucky divo,” Ma Mau from Ha Ju Ya, added.
After him Ma Mau pretended to dribble the ball to the paint, he smiled, he was having fun. He slid his arse to the threshold, turned around, and looked at everybody again. Then he choked as he flung his ball to the target. His ball flew way over the target to the other side and bounced off the wall.
“Home run!” Mari Kon from Essay shouted.
Ma Mau smiled, shrugged his shoulders, and responded,
“Everybody ain’t no Mickey Jay, uh.”
“Looky hea divo, let me show ya how it’s done, man.” Mari Kon smiled as he hip hopped to the door. He was overly cautious and he gingerly flung his missile to the target. Then he frowned as he realized he hadn’t used enough force, and watched it land several feet from the outer circle.